Individuals and interactions over processes and toolsI want to be clear - I'm am a strong support of the agile philosophy. For those of you out there who, like me, would rather spend your time interacting with a computer rather than a human being at work, I want to to point out that agile relies heavily on human-to-human interaction and a high degree of trust in team members and stakeholders. Key words: individuals, interaction, collaboration.
Working software over comprehensive documentation
Customer collaboration over contract negotiation
Responding to change over following a plan
communication requires both the sender and receiver of the communication to be very intentional. "Need the system to do X." "Got it!" Is not an effective interaction. Both parties have to slow down the pace of their interaction in order to be intentional about what they're communicating and make the practices effective.
- Studies show that we have to repeat ourselves in order for effective comprehension to take place. Tell the listener what you're going to say; say what you're saying; tell the listener what you just said.
- Look for comprehension, both verbal and non-verbal: head nodding, eye engagement, note taking, clarifying questions.
- Provide opportunities for questions. Some listeners may not be great at asking questions up front, so give them ample time. Pause after significant points or topics that may be unclear.
- Validate the receiver's understanding. Ask for comprehension about specific points, not just a general "does everything I said make sense."
- Listen and watch for when the receiver flinches, raises an eyebrow, takes extra notes, or tries to break into the conversation. What you think is already clear is the mostly likely place for miscommunication with someone unfamiliar with the topic.
- Listen actively.
- Confirm the assumptions that you have about the topic going into the conversation. You and the speaker may be starting from different places.
- Validate assumptions you have with what the speaker is telling you.
- If something the speaker says doesn't sound right, that's a clear sign that there's some misunderstanding going on. Either one of you is actually wrong in the information (in which case, facts need to be validated and clarified for both parties) or the communication is not working effectively. In either case, ask questions and clearly state your assumptions in order to clarify.
- Repeat what you're hearing back to the speaker in your own works. Become the speaker and look for their honest confirmation that you've understood them.
- State any conclusions that you've drawn from the conversation. They're likely based on both the information in the conversation as well as other unintentional assumptions.
- Confirm the action items, changes, or impacts of the conversation. Describe what it is that you think this conversation means to the project; and ask the speaker that same question.
So, make sure you take communication slowly and intentionally. Emphasize communication performance, not just responsiveness.
 As a little more detail on that footnote, I think the Wikipedia entry for "responsiveness" makes a great point about the difference between performance and responsiveness. In that example, the point made is that for usability, it makes sense to put the mouse driver at a higher priority than background processing so that the user experience is more pleasant. In an interview, though, the background activity of comprehension needs to have plenty of processing time. The verbal back-and-forth of the conversation can take a decreased priority to ensure that good understanding is happening.